A few weeks ago, on a Wednesday night I was sitting at the kitchen table after dinner thinking of how I could get out of going to the youth activity that night. I had gotten up at 5 am to go to the cycling class at the gym and was feeling tired. I was supposed to wear a dress to this activity and didn't feel like changing. I was thinking about all the years I've been going to Wednesday night youth activities as a leader. I've spent most of our marriage serving in the young women's program and I was feeling a little burnt out. So what did I do? I went, of course.
It turned out to be an amazing program. A woman from Kosovo came and told us about her conversion story. It was a shocking story of terror and sacrifice and I felt humbled. I was so glad I was able to hear her story and know I will never forget it. And I felt ashamed for even thinking of not going. I would have never been able to appreciate her story if I had heard it secondhand.
As I sat there that night and looked around the silent room at all the youth who were listening to this amazing woman I thought about the youth that weren't there and how sad it was that they were missing this. I noticed it was mostly Laurels that weren't there and thought that was pretty typical. I knew many of them had AP classes they were studying for, jobs, and other commitments. I knew some of them wished they had been there but many of them were missing more and more activities without regret. This is a pattern of behavior I have seen time and again in the youth program.
The next day I found myself thinking long and hard about the youth and why they stop coming to Wednesday night activities. I figured with all the growth and progress the church has made over the years you would think they would have figured out by now that as youth get older it gets harder to come to activities. The need to earn money to pay for college, get good grades to get into college, or participate in extra-curricular activities that can also prepare you for your future are all real and important. Then why does the church still have Wednesday night activities? Especially for the older youth? What's so important about these activities that all the youth need to be there every week?
My first thought was to answer the question, "why do we have youth activities?" Some typical answers are for friendship and to have a support system from other Latter-day Saints. Well, when I was a youth, I didn't feel very close to the other girls in my class. I definitely didn't go to activities because I felt like I was getting a chance to hang out with friends. So that may be true for some people but I know there are girls who always feel like the odd duck and left out of the friendship that often comes through associations in the church.
So, another reason youth may come to activities is to have uplifting, positive experiences that help strengthen their testimony of Christ. But then again, after four or five years of activities many youth may feel like they've heard it all, activities become repetitious and boring. I've heard many youth complain, "I'm not going to go because that activity isn't interesting to me." That kind of attitude puts a lot of pressure on leaders to constantly come up with activities that will make everyone happy.
I felt kind of stumped. There are a lot of good reasons why we want the youth to participate in weekly activities but I just felt like there was something I was missing. And then, it hit me. It's not about the youth. It's not about me, me, me. It's about God. It's about fulfilling our responsibilities and commitments to Him. It's about proving our love and devotion. He says in Abraham 3:25 "And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them."
So here it is... God wants youth to go to weekly activities to learn to put Him first in their lives. As they become older it becomes more of a sacrifice to reorganize schedules and other commitments to make it to weekly activities. But as they learn to put worshiping God first in their lives as a youth then as they grow into adults they will have a strong sense of devotion and willingness to sacrifice for God and put Him first in all things throughout the rest of their lives.
One of our main focuses in the Young Women's program is to help the girls get to the temple. One of the best ways to instill a desire to go to the temple is by learning to love God. When we love Him we want to keep His commandments. When we love Him we are devoted to Him and put Him before all other things in our lives. When we have this sense of commitment and devotion it's not hard to say "no" to a job that requires you to work on Sunday, or to a friend who wants you to go skiing on the Sabbath. It's easier to magnify your callings and feel love for those you serve. It's easier to say, "I will only be married in the temple", and then make the commitment to attend the temple regularly.
I felt like I had struck gold when I had this thought but I wanted proof that this was a correct principle. I searched lds.org and found (right away) an article from the October 1994 issue of the Liahona by Elder Holland called, "President Thomas S. Monson: Finishing the Course, Keeping the Faith." It's all about how President Monson, then a member of the First Presidency, has lived a life of commitment and devotion. Elder Holland says,
"Meeting President Monson, a buoyant 66-year-old, it is difficult to comprehend that he has already been serving in his apostolic calling for more than 30 years, including eight years as Second Counselor to President Ezra Taft Benson! Truly this man has devoted his life to the Savior, emulating Him in his personal life and in his calling as prophet, seer,and revelator. As one of his favorite scriptures declares, Thomas S. Monson has ever been "on the Lord's errand" (D&C 64:29)."
"'I have tried to pattern my life after the master,' President Monson says... 'Whenever I have had a difficult decision to make, or perhaps have had to measure the request to give a blessing against the endless demands of some of my paperwork, I have always looked at that picture and asked myself, 'What would he do? Then I try to do it.' With that characteristic smile breaking through, President Monson adds, 'I can assure you the choice has never been to stay and do paperwork.'"
With an attitude like that I can't picture President Monson sitting around the kitchen table on a Wednesday night trying to decide if he should go to the youth activity. Whether it was something that interested him personally or not he would go because he is devoted and committed to doing whatever it is that God requires him to do, as a child, as a youth, or as an adult. It makes no difference.
So now, of course, I began to think, "in what ways am I not showing my commitment and devotion?" That has become the ultimate question for me these past few weeks. I've taken a closer look at some areas in my life that needed improvement. I made a personal commitment to the Lord that I would do better in a specific area. I had uncommon opposition but stuck with my commitment and was surprised with a very profound, personal witness that the Lord knows me and has plans for me and my future. Instead of finding an answer to a dilemma I've been experiencing with the youth for many years, I found a personal answer that has changed the course of my own life. It's not always about me, me, me, but as we turn our hearts and our lives to the Lord we are in turn blessed.
