A Tribute to a Great Coach

I just found out today that my High School Water Polo coach, Grafton Weiss, passed away Friday night just a few days after his team won CIF. I just wanted to share some of my feelings about a man who made a big impression on me at a critical time in my life.

I started playing water polo the summer after my freshman year because I didn't make the cheerleading squad again with all my friends. I was devastated and terrified to be doing something I'd never done before without my usual support group. My older sister had played water polo for a few years and I remembered going to some of her games. Mostly I just remembered all the hot guys and figured that being surrounded by that was justice for not getting to be with my cheerleading friends anymore. As I approached the coaching office with a friend I was giggling out of nervousness and heard, without ever seeing him before, the coach say "I hear a Gilroy." It turns out that Grafton loved my sister and was more than happy to add me to the team. I felt like I had some big shoes to fill and didn't exactly make the best impression that afternoon as I clung to the ball in the deep end just trying to keep my head above the water.

I spent the next few weeks fighting cramps in my legs and doing pushups for every time I held on to the ball (which was a lot). Just because Grafton had girls play on his team, (which was incredibly rare back then) didn't mean he was going to treat us any different than the rest of the boys. I remember having arms so sore I couldn't lift them high enough to shampoo my hair. We were in the pool by 6 am every day during the summer and then again at 2 in the afternoon, and then went to games at the local community college at night. It was intense. I had never worked so hard my whole life. But you could always tell that Grafton was proud of his players. He pushed everyone hard and his team played better because of it. I know I always wanted to do my best to make him proud and to prove that I was worthy to be a part of the team.

I felt like Grafton acknowledged my efforts by letting me play Varsity my junior year and by letting me be on the starting line. During a time when there were many things going wrong in my life water polo was a refuge and a place where I felt important and successful. The boys on the team were such good people and many of them were an inspiration to me as I made decisions about where to go to college and what to major in. They didn't treat me any differently because I was a girl but still had respect for me as a girl. I know their friendship was a reflection of expectations and standards set by a good coach.

To this day I believe that a good coach can make all the difference in the life of a teenager. I believe that being able to play for Grafton was a blessing from God and that had I not been in a good place surrounded by good people my life may have turned out dramatically different. I was surprised to learn that Grafton went to Katella High School the year after I graduated but I'm sure he affected as many lives for good there as he did at Magnolia.

I'm so sad to hear that Grafton passed away and I mourn along with his family for the loss of a great coach, and a great man.

Thanksgiving Day

We had Thanksgiving Dinner at our house this year. I really enjoyed being able to have my family over with enough room for everyone. My only stress was that the Turkey finished cooking an hour and a half before I had planned. I frantically started calling everyone to hurry over so we could eat early but it turned out they were all already on their way. Yeah! The food was great, of course.

After dinner Jacque planned some fun games to play together. She always does such a good job. One of her ideas was to have everyone write one thing they're grateful for about everyone else and put it in a little bag. It was nice to read later that night the thoughtful things people said.

We were definitely all feeling a little full and comfortable as the evening wore on.

Some of us were very happy...

And some of us were very tired. But all in all it was a great day.

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

We've had such nice weather this fall that the kids have still been able to play outside. Austin's favorite thing is to dig up dirt from the garden and transport it somewhere else in the yard. This particular afternoon he was under the play set while his big brother and friends climbed on top. I asked Austin what he was making and he said, "I making cupcakes for Eden." Anytime one of the big boys started climbing around Austin he would yell, "Hey guys, go away, I making cupcakes for Eden." It's funny, but I see so much of myself in him.

One Of The Boys

The other day Dallin's friends came over to play. Things were getting a little rough so Dallin thought it would be better if they "took it outside." (Oh, my thoughtful son.) Anyway, Austin was ecstatic that he would get to go outside and play with all these boys. I got his warm jacket on and then he went in the garage to get the soccer ball. That's cute, I thought.

A few minutes later I heard, "Guys!" "Guys!" and then crying. I opened the back door and Austin said through tears,"These kids not play bouncy ball with me!" I looked at the boys and asked if any of them would mind kicking the soccer ball with Austin for a few minutes.

I was so impressed with their response. Immediately these sweet boys went to the other side of the yard and took turns kicking the ball with Austin. They didn't play it down, either, but really got into it with sideswiping kicks and "goal" shots (meaning they hit the fence). But Austin was so proud. They really made him feel like he was one of the boys.

I'm so glad my son has good friends who are thoughtful and helpful. I know Austin looks up to all of these boys and I'm proud that they have made such a good impression on him.

A Better Attitude and a Question

Yesterday we were driving to Grandpa's house and Dallin says, "I feel so excited mom. It's just this time of year, the smells, the sounds, the weather. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I just feel so excited." I was wondering what exactly he was excited about since I had just spent four hours researching gift ideas online and was feeling the spirit of commercialism. So I asked him why Christmas was his favorite holiday and he said, "because we get to read stories and talk about the baby Jesus and we get to think about other people and feel so much love."

Yeah, I felt like a schmuck. But then Dallin says, "you know what I want for Christmas mom?" And I thought, here we go, the ultimate request for some $120 electronic gift. I asked him "what?" bracing myself and he said, "I just want to spend time with you."

Those words have been ringing in my head for the past 24 hours. So I've been thinking how I can make this Christmas less about "stuff" and more about "people". I was thinking I might let the kids decide some activities we could do and maybe put them in charge. Instantly, the controlling voice inside of me sent off warning sounds. But I thought about a conversation I had with a friend yesterday as we were going through the Reflections entries. We talked about how much better it is when kids do the projects all by themselves. Of course, they don't turn out perfect and sometimes it's hard to tell exactly what they made but we both recognized the pride our children felt knowing they had created something all by themselves. I can see how the spirit of Christmas could touch my children deeper if I let them be in charge of some things and have their own experiences with giving and serving. In addition, I think it would take some of the pressure off of me trying to make everything perfect for everyone.

So what to do? I have no idea. Because I'm a control freak creative ideas like this don't come easy. So what do you do? Or better, what do your children do to make Christmas special and take the pressure off of you and gifts, etc?

Bah Humbug

I went to Sam's Club today to pick up a few groceries with Eden and Austin. It wasn't until I was almost done that I noticed my stomach was tied up in knots. At first I thought I had the flu again so I stopped and paused to see what the problem was. That's when I noticed it, Christmas music, "NOOOOO!" I felt the panick attack coming on. Instantly my mind started turning over everything I need to do and what should I get the kids and when am I supposed to put up decorations, ...

I've never left Sam's Club so fast. Just thinking about Christmas causes me anxiety. Even though I'm a highly organized person and tend to get everything taken care of well in advance, it's just the idea of it ALL that is so daunting. I know I stress too much about trying to get the perfect gift and the best deal. Someday I might learn to actually enjoy the holiday. But that's why I go on the Retreat in January. To recover from my anxieties of the previous two months.

But personally, I wish they could hold off on the Christmas music until after Thanksgiving at least.

Oh, To Do Something You've Never Done Before

and love it!

I just finished my first triathlon. I can't believe it but I really did it. I got the flu for the second time in two weeks on Thursday and thought for sure I wouldn't have it in me to try the race but I also couldn't stand the thought of not trying.

So, here's how it went. It was about 39 degrees this morning when we started. I was toward the front but in a matter of 30 seconds about 80 percent of the group passed me. To say I'm a slow runner is an understatement. I like to think of myself as the tortoise, I just keep plugging along. I admit that during the last half mile I was on the verge of crying (sound familiar?) and ready to run through the finish line for the 5k runners. But I made the turn and went for my bike. I saw my sister-in-law leave just as I was getting there and thought "a forty year old is kicking my butt."

Once I got on my bike, though, it was a whole new experience. I loved it. I started passing people like crazy (which felt so good) and flying downhill toward UVU. If I wasn't so chicken I could have gone faster. I confess anything over 26 mph freaks me out. But I enjoyed my ride and recuperated a little before tackling 400 North. "What a beast," some guy said as he climbed past me up the hill. But once again I wasn't the slowest so I felt pretty good, even though I almost threw up at the top.

So, one more lap of that on the bike. As I approached the hill for the second time I noticed I was even with another woman. I turned and said, "is this your second lap?" hoping to give her some encouragement. But when she turned and said, "yeah" I noticed it was my friend Monica. That was fun. So we gave each other props for making it that far and fought our way up the hill.

Okay, so what no one ever told me was that your supposed to strip down to your swim suit by your bike and then run into the Rec center barefoot in 40 degree weather. Man, that was cold. But I shoved my hair in a swim cap and ran in to find a line of people trying to get in the pool. The first lap was so crowded I kept swallowing water. I wanted to scream at everyone "hey, I'm a swimmer, get out of my way!" Instead I clawed past them one person at a time. My arms were burning but all I wanted was a little space to do what I do best. Turns out, it worked. I climbed out of the pool, crossed the finish line, and saw my sister in law standing there. "Did you just finish?" I asked. She said "yeah" and then told me that she saw me get in when she was on her third lap. So I think my fighting paid off.

I did the whole thing in 1 hour 27 minutes. Definitely not something to brag about. But I feel good anyway. The thing I find most funny is that I did my 3 mile run in 34 min. and was in about 30th place (I think that means for my age group or something) then I did the 10 mile bike in 41 min. and was in about 24th place. But I did the 300 meter swim in 8 min. and dropped to like 6th place. Just goes to show what I'm really good at. The funny thing is that isn't even a very good time for me but the pool was so crowded it was hard to get anywhere. I don't know what place I took overall. Like I said, I don't know how these things really work. But I feel good for having tried something I've never done before (and for not chickening out when I had a pretty good excuse).

I'm really grateful to my sister in law for encouraging me to do this. I was terrified this morning and just followed her around and did everything she did, which was really helpful. I only hope I can do half as good as she did when I'm forty.

The Passing of a Great Woman

On Wednesday Oct. 29th Ryan's Grandma Clara passed away. She had seven children and 26 grandchildren with a total of 115 members of her posterity (including spouses). She was a great woman with a strong testimony of Jesus Christ and the gospel. We are happy that she has been reunited with her husband Thales, her daughters Marie and Jeanne, and even her great -grandaughter Lillian.

Her funeral was held Saturday in Pleasant Grove. It was wonderful to hear her grand children and great grandchildren sing and to hear stories of her life that were great examples of her faith and testimony. She was buried in the Lehi cemetary next to her husband and eternal companion.

I will alway remember the impression she made on me. I know she loves her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. I know she worked hard all her life. She is an example to me of humility, patience, love, and faith. She showed me what is most precious, our families.