I don't know if you're like me at all but I usually get pretty depressed before my birthday. "Anticipation" is a little too strong of an emotion for me and Ryan came home from his trip saturday night sick and wiped out. He's had a hard time recovering and as the days drew closer my hopes were dashed. For some reason I got it in my head that he had a surprise planned. Whoops. Not a good idea. When we finally discussed the upcoming day and I realized he had nothing planned I was hurt. Which is completely selfish because he spent a lot of time in China and India picking out some Awesome gifts for me. Unfortunately, (probably because I'm a girl) I was even more let down when I realized we didn't have a single night this whole week to even go out.
I decided I needed an attitude change and needed to cut Ryan some slack and work with him a little. I offered to miss my YW activity on Wed. night so we could go out and we had a great time. We went out to dinner and then saw the new Terminator movie. (This is totally my summer for movies)!
Today has been interesting, nothing special but somehow fun nonetheless (probably helped after having that attitude adjustment). I checked my email just before 7 this morning and found some wonderful birthday wishes from friends on Facebook. What they were doing that early in the morning I have no idea but it started the day off right. I took the kids to swim lessons and got a call from my dad (also bright and early, a pleasant surprise). Then I decided to do what I wanted to do more than anything today. I had a bunch of errands to run but thought since it was my birthday I would do what I wanted. So I went swimming. My goal was to swim 100 laps in an hour. I did 108! I think if I had done 4 more it would have been 2 miles! (I've never been good at math, though, so I could be wrong). But I was so stinckin' proud of myself. I'm 35 and I can still kick butt in the pool! Oh, I almost forgot, after I checked in at the gym and was walking toward the pool the guy at the counter said my name. When I turned to look at him he threw his hands in the air and said, "Happy Freakin' Birthday!" That made me laugh all day.
On the way to the gym Eden asked me what kind of cake I was going to have today. I told her I wasn't going to have a cake and she looked at me like I was bonkers. Then I said, "Eden should we make a cake for my birthday today?" She said, "yeah!" I asked her what kind we should make and she said Chocolate. Works for me.
So I ran to Sams, Wal Mart, the Health Food store, picked up Cameron from dance, made dinner, put away the groceries, baked myself a cake, cleaned up the kitchen, and just pulled the cake out of the oven. In the meantime Dallin and Cameron tried to give Eden and Austin a bath. (There was a lot of screaming involved but they managed). And now the house is quiet and for some reason I still feel like laughing because it just seems like such a silly day and yet so typical of my life right now in the middle of my 30's. But the best part is that I'm happy. I'm happy to have four (sometimes exhausting but most of the time wonderful) kids. I'm happy that I can still run and swim and bike and feel good about myself. I'm happy that I have a husband who loves me and thinks about me all the time and misses me when he's at work and regrets more than anything that he can't be with me right now. I'm happy that I have family and friends from so many stages in my life who remembered me today and made me feel so special. I'm happy, not for the things in my life, but for the people. My heart feels full.
4 comments:
So maybe not being home tonight isn't the worst thing that's happened to me in my life, but I'm still sad. I hope the cake was yummy, even though you had to make it yourself.
I hear ya. Happy birthday. You're amazing.
P.S. I'm older than you.
You are someone who I miss so much. Can't we just figure out a simple way to be neighbors again? I love you.
I remember 35. :) I am older than you too.
Happy late b-day. You are so awesome Lauren, I totally look up to you!
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