Life Is Like...

You know the crazy lady at the gym that always says, "okay now, I want you to go as fast as you can. Now, go a little faster. Only a few more seconds now so just give it all you've got and go a little faster." Like I wasn't going my fastest to begin with because that's what she told me to do? After about 45 minutes of this when you're legs are shaking and you're wondering why you got out of bed she says, "now I want you to really work for the last 15 minutes" and then rattles something off about muscle failure. The whole time I'm kind of feeling like a failure because I obviously haven't been going fast enough or working hard enough to face such torture at the end.

Well, this type of experience has been a synonym for my life lately. Get up before the sun, go, go, go, and then instead of collapsing around 7 or 8 I get to push a little harder to run to the store, go to a class, a youth activity, whatever. And the whole time I'm thinking, I must be a failure because I'm not feeling the joys of motherhood, a sense of accomplishment from working out, or a feeling of satisfaction for staying on top of my responsibilities. I just feel tired and keep dreaming of staying in my warm bed for a day, or a week.

I read these interesting exercise articles from active.com and one that keeps running across my mind talks about how our physical selves are naturally inclined to be lazy and that every time we force our bodies to work we are going against it's natural inclination. Lately I've been feeling like my body may just win and I may give up on everything and become a couch potato. I realize there would be no satisfaction in that either, though, which is why I haven't succumbed yet.

I really think it would help if the sun would just come out and stay out for at least a day. Then I could avoid the crazy gym lady and ride my bike outside where no one is "motivating" me and the hills are real. And then I could forget how life is like my workout and just enjoy the feeling of the sun on my back, wind in my lungs, and muscles that are strong and performing well.