Faith, Trust, and Primary

I guess I've been in a thoughtful mood lately. I usually try to break up my wordy posts with pictures of what the kids are up to but once again I have a thought I'd like to remember and realized I better write it down before I forget or the whirlwind of life takes away my chance.

Earlier last week I took a look at my upcoming primary lesson. There was an attention activity that went something like this...

Give the children a 20 inch piece of string. Have them hold one end of the string in their right hand and the other end in their left hand. Ask them to tie a knot in the string without letting go of the ends. This is actually impossible so after asking the children if it's too hard you have them try it again but first have them fold their arms and pick up one end of the string with their right hand and the other with their left hand. Have them hold onto the ends as they unfold their arms. The string will be knotted.

Despite how cool that activity idea was I then read this...

Point out that the children could tie the knot when you showed them how to do it. Tell the children that in the same way we all have challenges in our lives that might seem impossible to solve if we do all we can and put our trust in Heavenly Father, he will help us find the answers.

Right then I started to cry. On that particular evening Ryan was out of town and I was feeling overwhelmed with the challenges that were coming up in the next few days. I often feel overwhelmed with not being able to get done all the things I think need to be done for the home, the kids, my husband, neighbors, friends, etc. I was feeling particularly caught up in the emotion especially since I needed to sew a hole in Cameron's new winter coat and lacking the needed sewing skills I had no idea how to do it. It was late and I was tired and just wanted to go to bed.

Then Ryan called. I told him what I was feeling and he simply asked why I didn't ask God for help. Part of me felt frustrated and I said, why would God help me with something silly like sewing Cameron's coat? And how can he help me with being able to have enough time to do all the things I feel are important like working with Eden on her spelling words, helping Austin with reading, making sure the kids do their piano, etc. all while getting dinner ready and running around for all the afternoon activities? It seemed impossible to me that God could help me with something I just needed to DO myself. If I had more time and more energy I could get it all done but it wasn't like God could add hours to the day.

Ryan told me that I was being prideful and lacking faith. That stung pretty bad and I wanted to hang up and be done with the conversation but I decided to take a minute and be honest with myself. I knew what he said was true but I didn't know what to do about it. I felt trapped in my emotions and anxieties. Once again he told me to pray about it and we hung up.

So I did what he asked. I prayed and asked for help to sew the ridiculous hole in Cameron's coat so she could wear it to school the next day. Amazingly, I was able to get it all put together. It doesn't look pretty but if you don't look too closely you can't really see the crooked job I did. I felt a little better and went to bed.

Obviously, last week was a bit of a challenge. Instead of things getting easier, they got harder. But looking back on it now I see how much I was blessed. There were people to help me, family, neighbors, and friends. And I was blessed with inspiration to know how to handle each challenge as it came about. I had the energy and health that I needed and by the end of the week I was able to see that I had accomplished everything I needed to do.

Then on Saturday morning Ryan and I ran a 10k. I thought I was crazy. I should have taken advantage of the day to rest after such a long week but instead I ran my best 10k ever. I finished 9 minutes faster than the last 10k I ran a few years ago. Just a few weeks ago I wouldn't have been able to go that fast but I've been running with a sweet neighbor who has been pushing me to go faster.

If you had asked me earlier that week what was possible I would have said only a few things of the many I was able to accomplish. When my friend Kelly asked me what time I expected to get for the 10k I told her I just wanted to beat 1 hr. 9 min. but in my heart I had my doubts. Now, I'm sitting here in awe of what a little faith, trust, and a primary lesson can do.

Finally, as I was putting the finishing touches on my lesson for Sunday I came across 1 Nephi 15:8. Nephi had just told his brothers about his vision of the tree of life and all the things he saw regarding the future. They said they couldn't understand what he was talking about and he said, "...Have ye inquired of the Lord?" Then in verse 9 they say, "... We have not; for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us." It hit me that I sounded just like that when I thought the Lord couldn't help me with things that seemed so out of His control. But I hadn't even bothered to ask. It was a reminder to me that the Lord expects us to be able to accomplish much, but not alone. He always invites us to Ask for all things we are in need of.